Either Way, It's a Miracle

As I read my Bible on Saturday, I came to Exodus 14.  You know that chapter where the Israelites cross the Red Sea on dry land and the Egyptians drown as they pursue them?  Every time I read that chapter, my mind goes back to the "religion" class I had to take at Stetson.  When asked if he believed this miracle really happened, the so-called Christian professor (who also happened to be a Sunday school teacher at a local baptist church) had an interesting explanation.  The body of water, he explained, was really the Reed Sea.  This sea is only ankle deep. So, no, of course the Israelites didn't really walk on dry land.  I've since heard this "explanation" several times while witnessing to people.  In their attempts to discredit the Bible, people often forget part of the story... that part about the Egyptians drowning?  I can see it now...  the Egyptian captains turn to their soldiers and say, "Everyone get on your knees and hold your faces in the water until you're good and dead."  Yeah right.

I believe the Bible.  When God says dry land, he meant it.  But, even if my professor and those other guys were right, wouldn't that be just as much a miracle?  Mentioning that usually brings the conversation to a screeching halt, but I'd say it has to make them think.

Taco Bell Order

Christopher (my brother, for those who don't know) would appreciate these guys' ability to keep things "funky and fresh."  Pause music at the bottom of my blog before watching the video.  

Ironic

After work today, I stopped by Moe's to grab a Funkmeister "streaker" (pretty embarrassing to order, but that simply means I want the taco without the shell).  As I was looking out the window at the "Natural Market" (that's simply a more interesting way of saying, "Beware, I'm a health food store!") I took note of a couple things.  1)  Just because you shop in the "healthy" store does not mean you're healthy!  Wow...  some people have missed the portion control memo.  Just because it's good for you doesn't mean you can overindulge! 2)  Eating health foods doesn't negate the effects of smoking.  I found it somewhat humorous to see a guy smoking right outside the door.  

Anyways... all that to say, I've heard the "of course I'm a Christian, I go to church" argument many times while witnessing. I've also heard this rebuttal:  "Going to church makes me a Christian like sitting in a garage makes me a car!"  I'm going to fill that last line in with "like shopping in a health food store makes me healthy."  

As I finish blogging about this, I'm going to get my "Blondies" (check out the recipe here) out of the oven.  They're for my class...  they'd better love me!  

Cute Joke

Question: What kind of candy does a happy farmer eat?

Answer: Jolly Ranchers

Kitchen Detonation

Our day first started getting interesting when the utility sink in the garage completely overflowed without any provocation (meaning, the sink wasn't on, etc.).  Then, we realized that the entire contents of the washing machine had drained into it.  The kitchen sink was also backed up, so we realized that we had a problem.  When Richard and David J. came over, we had to put them to work stopping up different sources of water.  Then, we built up pressure to force out the blockage.  

Christopher was manning the hose.  After getting complete directions from Dad, he did a great job.  (Don't you love the face?  Sharpies were a wonderful invention...)
It took two people to hold down one side of the sink... I could hold down my side all by myself... Notice how my dad is the supervisor.   

And now for the real dilemma...

Tonight, as has been the norm recently, we had guests for supper.  Also a frequent occurrence, we were planning on having baked mashed potatoes...  a very, very good side dish. Unfortunately for Kimberly, she cooked them on 425˚ as opposed to 325˚.  Fortunately for Kimberly, we noticed before they were ruined; we quickly retrieved the casserole dish from the oven and placed it on the stove. Around the same time, I was going to start steaming the broccoli, so I turned on the burner.  Unfortunately for me, I turned on the wrong burner!  I turned on the burner where the potatoes were cooling.  The problem?  Pyrex dishes apparently aren't made for stovetops.  Kimberly and I were doing various things in the kitchen when the entire dish exploded into smithereens.  That's right... teeny, tiny pieces and slivers of glass were splattered around the kitchen... in other dishes, in my sugar, etc.  It was a complete and total mess. Kimberly and I, a very good thing for us, were able to see the humor in the situation and, after thanking the Lord that the glass didn't hit us in the face or eyes, found it hysterical... until the cleanup began.  What a mess! Thankfully, my sweet husband, sister-in-law, and David J. were great helps... Christopher and Richard would have been, but they were too busy...  

How Dumb!

Dumb... that's what I am sometimes.  As I was scrubbing one of our toilets today, do you know what I was thinking?  This is kind of like brushing somebody's giant tooth.  Why do things like that pop into my mind?  I mean, I'm glad terrible, sinful thoughts don't; but why that?  Why couldn't I be scrubbing a toilet and having scripture float through my mind?  That surely would be nice.  There are times when a verse does pop into my head, and it's such a blessing to me! 

Very random, just thought I would share.  

6 Reasons We Chose Goldfish

1. Goldfish don’t have to be taken on walks
2. Goldfish don’t smell
3. Goldfish don’t need to be potty trained
4. Goldfish don’t bark
5. Goldfish don’t shed
6. Goldfish don’t bite

When we told some of our friends that David and I purchased goldfish as pets, Richard asked, "What's the difference between having real goldfish and a goldfish screensaver?"  Katy chimed in to answer:  "Real ones die."  

Interview Update, Funny Story, & Brown Family Addition

Interview Update:  The meeting today went well.  I spent two hours with the other third grade teacher going over the potential curriculum, behavior management stuff, and classroom routines. She made frequent references to "when we" and "you'll see next year" types of things.  Despite these clues, I don't know for sure.  The principal said hello, explained that I would be meeting with only the teacher, and said she would "call me in a day or two."  I'm hoping it's simply to work out the details.  We'll see.  I'd appreciate it if you'd keep on praying.  

Funny Story:  After church tonight, several of us went to McDonald's for McFlurries.  After stealing as many of my brother's fries as he would tolerate, the girls present (myself included) decided that we wanted some fries.  So... David got a "meal," and allowed us to eat his fries. What a guy!  Anyways, the fries didn't last long (to say the least), and we were laughing about how we wanted more.  So, I had the brilliant idea that someone should go to the counter to ask for a "refill" (I didn't want to do it, mind you).  We tried to get Brianna to do it, but she said, can't we just buy more?  Shayna was up for the prank, though, so she walked up to the counter and asked "Can I get a refill please?"  She didn't seem like she was asking a question, just acting as if she wanted more Dr. Pepper.  The girl at the counter looked befuddled, and turned to a coworker and asked, "Do we give refills on fries?"  Meanwhile, our whole table erupted into uncontrollable laughter.  Then she looked at us and said, "y'all are so mean!"  

Addition to the Brown Family:  David and I purchased two gold fish at Walmart tonight. The poor things haven't been given names yet, but I will update you when we do.  I'm thinking about using a "people" name for mine and David is looking for a synonym for "forgetful."  

The Mighty Jungle

Yesterday, I almost died... okay, not really, but that's what I was thinking as I was traipsing about the woods following my wonderful, yet at times crazy, husband! Our pastor and his wife hosted the youth outing at their "farm." One of the events, if that's what you want to call it, was running through the woods trying to find orange tape tied to trees and various natural items (flowers, bones, etc.). The team who gathered the most items (which were worth a certain number of points) won the game.

On this "farm," as some like to call it... I prefer jungle... there are 30 or so acres of pine trees, surrounded by rattle snake nests (brush is what most call it, but they lie). We didn't actually see a rattle snake, nor have they seen more than a couple in the 20 or so years they have lived out there; but be that as it may, there are indeed rattle snakes out there just waiting to nip at unsuspecting ankles. They are simply very well hidden snakes. Those very well hidden snakes almost killed me while I was running after my wild-man husband, and the rest of our team (can you tell I did little to make the team a cohesive unit? I was following them yelling, "we're all gonna die!").

Anyways, we were carried off by my sweetie (I do love him!) to the swampiest, most horrible part of the property, in search of the "skull of Cleo the cow." Unfortunately for her, Cleo passed a way, long ago by the looks of her remains, and never received a proper burial. Consequently, that was part of our scavenger hunt (or Bro. James' attempt to have his property cleared of litter... some items we were to find were cans, golf balls, and Styrofoam ). We were the team who found Cleo. There was quite a victory "dance" upon her discovery. We then proceeded to look for an old propane tank (are you seeing why it looked like an ill-disguised attempt to clean the place up?). We never found it, but thankfully for my sake, there was a time limit. I only had to spend one hour in the vermin infested wilderness. Praise the Lord. (One girl on the other time said this activity greatly improved her prayer life. She was praying the entire hour, "Lord, please don't let a snake kill me!")

After we arrived back to the house, we looked over our spoils, added up our points, declared our pine cone the biggest, and were announced to be the winners! That is a very fortunate fact for our team. I don't know if I would have forgiven them for the anguish they put me through had we not been the victors!

The trip, despite my slightly exaggerated rendition, was a lot of fun. After the hour in the woods, we ate lunch, had a quiz (funny questions like... how far can a dog run into the woods... half way, after that, he's running out), and played croquet. Much more enjoyable, if you ask me. We did have to take a thunderstorm break sometime during the day (I guess that's when we went inside and did the quiz).

I am very thankful for a pastor who has a desire to be involved in the lives of the people at church. He is definitely not a preacher who seems "above" everyone else. He's just the man who happens to preach (very well, I might add). He loves the kids at our church, and they know it.

Please see yesterday's post for all the pictures from this event!

I almost forgot... at one point, we were all "'Round the Mulberry Bush!" The Knoxes have a mulberry bush in their yard, and the group was picking them off to try. It was, unfortunately, next to a building, preventing us from running around it and singing the song.

Plane Crash!

No, there wasn't really a plane crash (at least that I've heard about), but I have had two dreams recently in which planes crashed on our couldesac. The first crash I saw coming coming and it turned into a car once it finally crashed. Then, the people inside the plane/car started shooting at David and me. Last night, we, along with our neighbors, were watching skydivers (we live in the "skydiving capital of the world"). Then, one of the jump plains started spinning out of control. It proceeded to land in our neighbors driveway and hit her with the propeller. I was yelling at the top of my lungs, "Someone call 911!" And her eyes just kept getting smaller and smaller. I don't know what would have happened next... I woke up.

I think I need to stop eating after 9 p.m.

On another note: David has been snoring recently (probably due to the sinus congestion he's had). When I tell him about it the next morning, he won't believe me. So, I thought I would prove it to him by catching him on video. A couple nights ago, he fell asleep before I did and started snoring. So, I ran to get the camera, and started recording. Each time I would start recording, he would stop! I told David about it and he laughed. He claims that even if he does snore, I have no proof!

My dad is quite the snorer... several years ago, we had a bunch of people staying at my parents' house during a hurricane (so they didn't have to board up everyone's windows, just ours). Our neighbors were sleeping in my brother's room, and my aunt and uncle were sleeping in my room just down the hall. The next morning, our neighbor said something about my uncle's terrible snoring. The only thing was this: He hadn't heard my uncle snoring. He heard my dad from upstairs and it woke him up! Praise the Lord David doesn't snore like that!

Did you know?

Were you aware that if grapes are cut almost in half and put in the microwave for several seconds they cause a spark?  How do I know this?  I'm glad you asked.  The teenage guys figured it out in our microwave last night.  I do admit, though, it was humorous to see 10 people hovering around the microwave trying to see the show.  

When I was writing about our activity, I knew I was forgetting something, and it came back to my mind at some point today.  

Has this ever happened to you?

Someone was trying to take David's and my picture, and they accidentally had it on video... it took us a few seconds to figure out what was going on! 

Photo Ramblings, Free Wi-Fi, & Funeral Update

I found some more old pictures that were scanned into the computer for our wedding today... some of them are so funny...

my family (long ago) at a rest stop on vacation

my husband...  I can't imagine him blonde

Another old picture...  my brother (In the white tshirt) is now 6'5"!

David & Kimberly (little sister)

my first experience with cooking, I guess

in  his Uncle Dave & Aunt Donna's wedding... how cute

my kindergarten picture (first year of homeschooling)

David & Kimberly again

my brother & me... he was on his way to preschool

On another note:  Something just made me think of wireless internet, and I had to "blog" this story.  

When it first became popular, Subway had on their sign "Free Wi-Fi."  My mom, my aunt, and I were driving by one day, and they read the sign and said something like, "I wonder what that is and if it's any good."  Trying to contain my laughter in the backseat, I said they should go in and ask to try some.  I guess I didn't succeed at hiding my mirth because they both knew something was up.  Since they weren't going to ask for some, I explained what it was.  I really wish they had been a bit more gullible!  

My mom and my aunt can be a riot to be around!  Last year about this time, we were in CVS Pharmacy looking at cards.  We started laughing so hard that the clerk came over to ask what was so much fun.  That only made us laugh that much harder. Does anyone else do that?  My family always finds something hilarious on the card aisle.  

On another note:  The funeral today went relatively well.  The vast majority of those in attendance were lost and not interested in hearing the gospel.  There was only a graveside service as the family intended it to be very brief.  The man they asked to present the gospel apparently did not understand that and preached a 30 minute sermon.  If you were saved, it was a fine sermon.  If you weren't, the gospel was not crystal clear. David was able to give a concise gospel message at the close of the service. That is what the family wanted - opportunity for lost friends to hear the Good News of Jesus Christ.  Thanks for your prayers!

Amazing Grace

PAUSE THE MUSIC ON MY SIDEBAR!

You have got to watch this adorable little girl sing this song!  It's things like this that make me excited about the day when we will have children.  This girl's got spunk, too...  My husband was trying to imitate her little dance.  It was more amusing than cute.  

It Was a Splash...

PAUSE THE MUSIC ON MY BLOG!!!

This is hysterical!  I cannot imagine someone doing this in church!  I do know people who would definitely have done that if they had thought about it at the time, though...

This Takes the Cake...

You have to click here to see the most ridiculous wedding cake ever!  Can you imagine having a wedding cake that is made to look just like you?  When David & I got married, I wanted to make sure it wasn't just "my day."  I asked him to help me choose the colors, cake, etc.  We also helped each other choose attendants... I have a lot of guys in my family, he has a lot of girls.  This bride obviously didn't mind the day being all hers.  

For those of you who aren't married, here's something that saved "us" (really my parents) a little bit of money.  Rather than buying a "fancy" cake big enough to feed two hundred fifty people, we bought one that would feed 130 (I think).  In the back, the caterers had cut up another cake that had the same design,the same flavor, and was made by the same place, it was simply a sheet cake.  So, it saved us at least $150-200.  

A couple people made comments about how there was enough cake for everyone, even though the cake looked a little bit smaller than they thought it would.  Other than that, no one seemed to notice.  We got our cake from Publix... if there is one in your area, we were very pleased!  

Also, I went back and forth about having a bride/groom figurine on the top of the cake that I could keep forever.  I am so glad that I went with the fresh red roses, though... I think it really made it stand out.  

The Saga Continues

Phase 10 update:

David won last night... barely...  this is not the end...  but for now, he is up one game.  

Conversations With David

Scene:  David and Lauren are sitting on the bed, discussing Lauren's desire for a dog.  

Lauren:  You would love our female Maltese named Phoebe if we had her.  

David:  A female? There is something wrong with the idea of a girl dog.  

Lauren:  Um... David...  

David:  Yeah, I know... there would be no dogs if it weren't for female dogs...

Foiled Again

David just found his birthday present... that's two years in a row...  I think I need to hide things better!

Edited to Ad:  David wasn't looking for it, I simply didn't hide it very well!

Pilates Extraordinaire

There's nothing in any rule book that says there can't be three posts in one day.  Just wanted to say that tonight, I had a very, very interesting experience.  I watched David and my brother (Christopher... he was complaining that he hadn't "made it onto my blog") do Pilates.  Before beginning the video (Winsor Pilates Buns & Thighs Sculpting Video), they were acting all macho, explaining that they would have absolutely no problem doing the moves.  Neither of them made it through the first side!  When the lady said "breathe in through your nose, out through your mouth" my brother would say, "well, I can do that part." David also said that he had "a greater respect for my ability to complete all the routines for both legs.  It was hysterical... I wish I could have video taped it for all to see.  

On a similar note:  David told me that I looked skinny today!  That made my day!  He also gave me a "Thank you for being me" card.  What a wonderful husband the Lord has blessed me with!